Wednesday, February 23, 2011

What if…

I don’t normally like “What if” questions, because it isn’t and it won’t be. I don’t even like to regret. Don’t get me wrong, I have lots of regrets, but I just try not to dwell on them. But with Timothy, everything is an exception. I can’t but wonder, what if he wasn’t sick? How would my life be different right now? In one sense, it would be “normal”. And we would probably be caught up in the whirlwind of raising two young children. Probably busy with many play dates and outings, perhaps engage them in variety of learning experiences… Who knows? Right now, with the flu season kicking in late this season, we have been home-bound more or less and trying to stay away from sick people. My cough/sneeze/nose-blowing radar is very much heightened. I see and hear symptoms of sickness everywhere, probably to my detriment and paranoia. So is my life that much worse because of my son’s sickness? As I think about it, I have to say no. My life has been richer and fuller because of, not in spite of Timothy’s illness. Really. Here are some unexpected richness I have discovered:

1. Hands and feet of Christ extended through family and friends by bringing us meals, encouraging words through emails, texts, and personally, thoughtful gifts for Claire so she won’t feel neglected, and so much more. I have learned what it means to love others when in need first hand. To see the love of Christ through His people is a sweet reminder of His love for us. What a blessing it has been!

2. Countless and constant prayers for us. To know that we are thought of and prayed for is a humbling and comforting thought. Thank you.

3. I think Timothy would have been more or less neglected a little as a second child, if he wasn’t sick. But, probably to Claire’s annoyance, he got as much attention as she did :). I was able to appreciate him just the way he is. Sometimes, not knowing when he would be sick, I cherished and cherish his each accomplishment even more. His latest accomplishment:

He learned how to pray :). He’s definitely in that “cute” stage.

4. Both Daniel and I have learned and grown so much. We have learned to depend and trust in God’s providence. We have learned to embrace help from others and to lean on them. And through them, many relationships have been strengthened. We have grown to look outside of ourselves and see the bigger picture.

There are more… so much more. All because of Timothy. Thank you God for Timothy and his sickness. Thank you.


  1. This is one of the most encouraging things I have read in a while. Thanks for sharing what God has been teaching you.

  2. What an amazing example of how in all circumstances we are to praise God - and how wonderful to hear how truly in ALL circumstances, God really is pouring out his love for us. So incredibly amazing! Thank you for sharing!! And, we look forward to seeing you in just a few more weeks!!

  3. I am so encouraged by what God is teaching you, Alice.

  4. Hello! I stumbled upon your blog after doing a search for "BMT for CGD." Our 5 year son has CGD, also diagnosed as an infant. He has been extremely healthy (for a child with CGD) on bactrim, Sporanox and Actimmune. However, we have kept him extremely sheltered and we know we won't be able to be this protective forever. We are likely going to proceed with a BMT this summer. We have been dragging our heels, but his docs say now is the time.
    Feel free to contact me if you have any questions/need support in any way.